Sunday, November 17, 2013

Mattie and Pedro

Today was rather difficult than expected. Woke up to a vivid dream of you and me together. You came to me wanting to talk. You pulled me away from a sweet conversation with me and one of my closest friends and this some guy I liked. At first I was in shock. I wanted to say no because I wanted to make you feel it hasn't been easy for me this whole time. And now that I'm finally moving on, you would come to me and ruin a great moment I have been praying for months now. I wanted to let you go and start anew. Eventually, I gave in which was somehow predictable. I've never said no to you. You circled your sturdy arms around me and I felt the warmth of your embrace. You were crying and you had a difficult time dealing with the fact that I haven't been around. It was different because I felt the sincerity of your words. You wanted me to stay. And I held on too tight because I didn't want to leave either. But at the back of my mind, I was still in this constant debacle - how can I stay if you yourself are not even ready to have all of me. The dream went on... I let go and stood beside you and I held your hand. Our fingers intertwined. And it felt wonderful. Then we walked toward a mini-forest we used to hang out back in my elementary days. There were others in the background but I couldn't see their faces. I only see you behind the trunks of those mini trees. We were both smiling. We were happy. I came closer and asked if I could still call you that name I used to call you. You said no. And that it doesn't make any sense, us being two different cartoon characters from two different shows. I get it. They didn't have connection and that we do. You said we are like Mattie and Pedro and I somehow assumed it was something I didn't watch or even heard of but it seemed to me we were special like them. And that there's a we. My heart felt contentment. And it ended there. But I know I only see you in my dreams as that person I wanted you to be. That Pedro in my dreams loves me. But you didn't... To be continued...

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