Sigh

Some learn by living the moment, some by crashing seas. Some walk past through the finish line. Others do the counterflow. We each have our own way and no matter what we choose, straight or crooked, it is for a reason. Some may say "I don't have a choice", but come on, that is just one lame alibi. We all have a choice, we just don't attempt to even try to understand.

Why can just things go the way I always want them to be? I shake hands with many, build friendships with some and eventually, say hello to goodbye. Why do we have to feel some connection to someone who was once a stranger? Haay.. One of the coolest workmates I have has to leave the company to search for a vibrantly greener pasture. Zander, my mentor and friend, whom I shared so many songs with (smiles..), and most importantly, whom I shared smiles and fun moments with, just had his last day at the office today. He is one of my closest and he always had been a big brother and it's just so sad to see him go. Haaay. Anyway, I know for a fact he will have better opportunities outside of S--- Third, on the other hand, my second longest seatmate, is also leaving because he'll be transferred to a new l.o.b. and will most probably be on training next month. Yes, that's two in a row. Why does it have to be my buddies? :( Like Zander, Third and I share a lot of things in common. We both love Heroes, for one. Then, I just lent him my Harper's Island. And of course, we talk about work and of wanting to leave. Sighs are one of the obvious signs as to what kind of day or should I say nightshift we're having. True, work is a lot stressful, but these friends are whom I get inspiration from. I wouldn't have stayed this long if not for them. So what now? New year is coming and I guess I just need to deal with a lot of new things ahead! Lesson learned: Never get attached to people. Except maybe if he's the "half of us" that we all are waiting for.

let the photos tell...

what a sweet time to have fun!!



we rented jack sparrow's boat to isla dikasalarin...




God is such an amazing designer...





Dont go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that
Youre used to cuz I know that youre gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you re moving too fast... (sings)



let me stretch my shadows - says mr branch



silence please....

jack sparrow is in the house...
that's his boat???

one two smile...

no curves... eeew

just trying to fix my hair....br />

the supernatural brothers!

... keeping myself so busy with these two winchester brothers... they are supernaturally lovely!!!... couldn't even say who is better than the other. they are funny when they bring out the brats in them and start their petty brotherly fights, they are like little boys fighting over some marble or toy robot when they start arguing... hahah... sam - the good guy (his height is always adorable), dean - the easy-go-lucky hottie (he has killer eyes)... wish i had brothers like them...now i remember my brothers... i hope to see you soon guys!

Another batch of shout-outs!!!

Sids, what are your plans? If I'm not mistaken, you said you wanna come here. I only have one thing to advise, never ever listen to dream stealers. Always stay focused and grab what your heart craves for. Find the joy and fulfillment and never stop until you have it. Miss our conversations!

Ol, wla na nsundan ato chikka. HEHE!!! That was unexpected! I wasn't surprised, things always go their ways unplanned. I hope it's not the first and the last. I only realized I missed you guys more than I think I do. I wish it could be high school again. Back then, we would only worry about our assignments, investigatory projects and well, tricky long quizzes. Kabalo ka, gimingaw na ko magsakay ss jeep sayo and then keeping my fingers crossed nga unta magsakay mi ni ****... Hahaha!!! I miss those pre graduation nights, esp when we went to Yen's place for Kaamulan. That was some sweet time! So when are you coming home?... Keep in touch...

Mine, we are here for you. I am particularly here for you. Think of us as your extended family. I can listen and we can both cry together. I know it is still hard and tough and so rocky at this time but I know time will heal everything. It may not be that quick, it may even take years. Just think of the other things left of you. If you even think about it, you have a lot around you.. Love you friend!

A pink rose......

This letter is meant to inspire..
Check it out...
The characters are superficial...

My dearest Peter,

This morning when I woke up, I saw the sun in its most extraordinary beautiful shape. I could not help but praise the Creator whose light He has unselfishly shared with the universe. Life is beautiful and sweet. I never felt so joyful and prepared for whatever may befall today.
I noticed the photo beside me. It was taken during my first birthday with you. That was three years ago. We always looked good together. That photo alone could tell. Then it all flashed back at the time you gave me that pink rose. You never knew how elated and blessed I felt when you looked at me that day in the eye. And that was how it all started.....
You are my miracle. At some point I had to ask God why would He allow me to come to know you and end in this circumstance? At that, my heart felt painfully sore. And then I found the answer in your eyes. God gave you, perhaps, because He has to. The stars have ordained our roads to cross long before time could tell. God has just fulfilled His plans.
The angels could be have been dancing and feasting at that time we both knew we were meant to be together. All the fairies and all of Tinkerbell's clans could have celebrated the union of our hearts. I could hear nightingales in chorus; bells ringing like weddings June; and butterflies magically hovered around us. The universe celebrated the union of our hearts.
But then again, like my childhood fairytales, stories must end. Ironically though, I have always believed ours hasn't and would never will. Because I believe in forever....
Today, I can hear the voice again, I had been ignoring it for some time now but this time, I have to choose to listen. It's time to take heed. But please never think of me so selfish for going away. Because I never wanted to leave.
This is not a goodbye. This is my hello to another journey - a journey I am not afraid of taking because nothing has ever scared me than not being with you. I could be alone in this journey but your memories will always be with me. If my call will finally come today, all I ask is for you is to offer a pink rose again...
I may be gone for quite awhile but I hope my memories won't. Our story has not ended. I hope to see you in another lifetime.

Your lover,
Naomi

Perplexed...

Confused...
Complicated...
Worthless...
Insecure...
Empty...

These are the exact feelings I have today. I am again hiding in my dark little corner. What if I had just stayed home? Will things have been better? Had facing my failure and fears with the comfort of home been better than running away, chasing liberty and seeking peace in the busy city life?

Suddenly I feel the rush of running back home. It would have been a big difference than living a life so out of the normal. When I was a little girl, I never left my mother's side. Neither had I thought I'd survive miles away from her.. But here I am, in my best efforts, I had been a survivor,
not just of being away from Mama's cradling arms, but for all the things I had been through. And honestly today, I am still struggling to be in sync with where I had been and where I am heading. Everything is still vague and unsure. Just letting a day pass and greeting another with a smile.

Life is toxic. You still sometimes find yourself a prey of something you have escaped from swallowing you, devouring you. Life has its own share of ironies, most of the time. You strive your best at 99%, get judged by that 1% failure you went through. Isn't that unfair?

And today, I spoke to God, told Him I feel wrecked. Psalms 3, He answered me. Like David, He will sustain my strength.

Life may not be perfect. We may not have been kind to every soul we see. We may have made mistakes and people may have magnified even those little faults. Some may have judged us so as to let us feel insignificant. But one thing is for sure. God is a Living God who gives a free hand when we stumble and fall. He sees us as His special creation with a significant purpose.

Stranded(I am in love with the song)

You know it breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark
Alone waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
If it's coming over youLike it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to seaI want to be with you
If you want to be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't want to be
Stranded
So baby come back to me
I can only take so much
These tears are turning me to rust
I know you're waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to sea
I want to be with you
If you want to be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't want to be
Stranded
I miss you
I need you
Without you I'm stranded
I love you
So come backI'm not afraid to show

Shoutouts!!

Belated happy birthday Bejar!! Too bad they weren't available during your special day. Say thanks, I patiently waited for you (utang na loob yun-my list is getting longer).

Tell me the real and whole story when we have time! Valentine's is coming! hehe. See, napa-shopping ka tuloy... Mine, I can't view your blog.

Fernand, i don't feel your presence lately, dude! Guess your having a new set of friends huh...

Katz, read my post! You got me scared last night!

Oli, what's up, happy new year! miss the days! Happy birthday? How's the weather down there?? Hahah! Ol, I just can't believe it! We are talking and chatting! Sosyal kaau ka! You've been speaking the language the whole duration! You're impossible! But I was so glad to hear your voice. You sound so well and fine. So our timezones differ by five hours. The call got disconnected, too bad..

Sidney, mame, I'm so missing our conversations!

Ane, have a twilight movie, mingaw na ko nimo ngeet!!!

****, ala lang.... (-_;)

Spur of the moment

My Contemporary Ode

A soul’s confused
And tears are bitter
Don’t leave a heart bruised
Or a sweet sad whisper.

Those eyes are staring,
Filled with pain and longing,
A teardrop one hates to waste
Is more than a wound,
That cuts deep through.

Your silence is deafening-
It loudly vibrates
Your smile is threatening-
A doubt it so much gives.

water is deep,
It’s drowning me,
If your hand’s willing,
then hold me,

But if your drowning, too,
I'll drown with you...

A little history

It's all my good friend's fault. His name is Fernand Yim(his blog is mynameisfernandyim.blogspot.com, in case you want to check out). We were training as CSR for Capital One when he started promoting his blogsite and everytime he has to introduce himself, he would always remind us to go check his blogsite. At some point, it became irritating(Peace Ferndz!). Anyway, it took me about five months to be convinced, I eventually came to have my own blogsite, as well. Mine Canete, also a good friend at Sykes, has her own, too (all because of Ferndz. I have a lot to tell. My life is crazy and wonderful. Sometimes, I just find it so hard to express how I truly feel about something, that is why I always tend to be poetic. I'm more of a poet than a journalist. I always find myself writing essays than short stories or poems than songs. Truth is, I'm more on the conservative side when telling my story. So... I don't really expect anything. Let's just say, this is just my breather... And this time, I make it a little more public.. ;p

Let's get started...

I don't really know how to start. I couldn't even find the best way to describe myself. All I know is I am living my life at this very moment. I may not be at my pedestal but in a way, I know my story is worth telling...